🏆 Change your words, change your life.

🔥 Friday Fuel – November 15

Every athlete knows how powerful momentum can be.
But few realise how much language drives it — the words we say to ourselves, our teammates, or our kids in the moments that matter most.

This week, we explore Performance Language — the shared vocabulary that builds confidence, calm, and growth across athletes, parents, and coaches alike.

Want the Key Takeaway Sheet for Athletes from today’s newsletter - just scroll to the bottom.

💬 A Personal Note

I can’t count how many times I’ve gone to speak after one of my boys’ games, words on the tip of my tongue, only to stop myself just in time.

It usually happens right after a tough moment: a missed shot, a quiet performance, the long walk back to the car.
The instinct is to fix it. To jump in with advice or reassurance.

But now, I take a breath.
I fall back on one of David Galbraith’s questions:

Every time, the energy shifts.
They lift their head. They start to think, not defend.
That one question opens space for reflection — they share, we fist bump, and suddenly, we’re talking with each other, not at each other.

I’ve learned that performance doesn’t just happen on the field.
It happens in the language we choose afterwards.

🏉 Athlete Examples

Kane Williamson — calm under pressure
Kane’s known for the way he speaks — measured, thoughtful, never rushed. After losses he says things like,

That’s performance language in action: separating outcome from effort, pressure from process. His tone models composure for every teammate listening.

Lisa Carrington — calm within herself
Lisa talks about focusing on “my stroke, my rhythm, my breath.”

She doesn’t say, “I need to win.”

She says, “I need to execute.”

That simple shift keeps her anchored in the present — the hallmark of a champion’s mind.

Both remind us: performance starts in how we speak — to others and to ourselves.

🎯 What the Experts Say

Performance psychologist David Galbraith calls language the bridge between confidence and chaos.
His Performance Language framework trains athletes to ask questions that build belief and self-reflection rather than self-criticism.

Here are his key lists — practical, powerful, and perfect for after training or competition.

List 1 – To Build Confidence and Self-Belief

1️⃣ What am I most proud of about the way I performed, trained or practised today?
2️⃣ What was one thing I learnt today that will help me fine-tune my training for tomorrow/this week and help me win next time?
3️⃣ What is one piece of evidence from today that proves I can achieve my dream?
4️⃣ How was I successful today? (Review your core expectations to answer this.)
5️⃣ What am I now really looking forward to next time I train or perform?
6️⃣ What was one thing from today that proves my plan is working?

List 2 – To Savour Victory and Moments of Excellence

1️⃣ What great or excellent part of today’s performance am I most proud of?
2️⃣ What was my favourite part of the performance today?
3️⃣ What was one thing from today’s performance I’m really looking forward to replicating next week?
4️⃣ When was one time I nailed killer instinct and finished the job off?
5️⃣ When was one time my mental game was perfect, strong, or sound?

Use these questions regularly — they train the brain to look for learning and evidence of progress rather than mistakes.

⚙️ The 3 R’s of Performance Language

The magic of performance language isn’t in the words themselves — it’s in how we use them to turn mistakes into momentum and effort into evidence.

Reflect → Reframe → Reinforce

1️⃣ Reflect — Ask one growth-based question instead of replaying the error.
2️⃣ Reframe — Turn “I messed that up” into “That taught me something.”
3️⃣ Reinforce — End with evidence: “That proves my plan is working.”

These three steps transform reflection into momentum.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 For Parents, Family, Friends & Coaches

David Galbraith reminds us that performance language isn’t just for athletes — it’s for everyone in their circle. The way parents, coaches, and friends respond after a performance can either fuel belief or feed doubt. Every word counts. But also what important is what you focus them on - these rules ensure they have the best chance to become the best version of themselves.

DG’s rules for supporters:

❌ Don’t let them:

• Make excuses (“the ref”, “the travel”).

• Use give-up talk (“I’ll never be as good as…”).

• Seek reassurance (“Am I still good enough?”).

• Spiral into negative language or tantrums.

✅ Do encourage them to:

• Be courageous.

• Stick to their plan.

• Speak with strength and belief.

• Review only when they’re ready — then listen fully.

The calm tone you use after the whistle often becomes the one they hear in their head during the game. When we model strong, composed language, we don’t just support performance, we shape the mindset behind it.

🧠 This Week’s Challenge

Athletes:
After your next training or game, choose three or four of DG’s questions from List 1 that feel right for you.
Write a few mock answers so they start to feel natural, then use those same questions every time you reflect — not just this week.
You’ll be amazed how your mindset shifts when your post-game talk becomes:

Parents & Coaches:
After the final whistle, take a breath before you speak.
Ask one reflective question — then stay quiet and listen.
Encourage your athlete to keep using their chosen questions regularly until this language becomes automatic.

Because growth doesn’t just happen in the challenge week — it happens every time we use the right language to unlock learning.

💬 Quote of the Week

In sport, that “system” often begins with our language — the questions we ask, the tone we use, and the self-talk we practise.
Build the right language system, and confidence will follow.

🔔 FYA & The Game Changer Update

Big things are happening behind the scenes!

We start recording new Game Changer Podcast episodes next week — and the lineup is stacked:

🎙️ Professor Camilla Knight — a world-leading researcher on sports parenting for athlete success, happiness and wellbeing in youth sport.
🎙️ Emma Humphries — Technical Director and Head of Academy at the Wellington Phoenix, sharing insights into player development, leadership, and the next generation of footballers.
🎙️ Anna Veale — performance coach at Fresh Coaching whose mission is to inspire and empower athletes to excel in sport and life by developing skilled, empathetic, and well-rounded humans.

We’re also talking with a top Strength & Conditioning coach on Monday to lock in a time for their episode — one focused on practical, age-appropriate training for youth athletes.

And that’s not all — we’re in talks for our next Game Changer Live Call with a top-level athlete, and we’re hopeful of announcing details in the next few days.

You might have a question from one of our guests that you would love to answered. If so, just reply to this newsletter, include the question, and we will ask it during the interview.

Our goal remains the same: bringing you conversations that inspire, empower and energise your journeys.

/🎯 Help Us Smash Our Goal — We’re Almost Halfway There!

💥 1,000 YouTube Subscribers in 3 Weeks

A huge thank you to everyone who’s jumped on board to support our YouTube channel over the past week — thanks to you, we’ve grown from 333 to over 430 subscribers (and counting!) 🙌

We’re nearly halfway to our goal of 1,000 subscribers in 3 weeks, and it’s all because of your shares, comments, and encouragement.

Now, we need one last big push.
Every new subscriber helps us bring you more live Fan Q&As with professional athletes, inspiring interviews, and free content designed to help athletes, parents, and coaches grow together.

👉 Subscribe here: @TheGameChangerYouthPerformance
📲 Share the link with a friend, teammate, or coach — it only takes a tap to make a real difference.

The bigger our community grows, the easier it becomes to bring world-class athletes and experts straight to you.
Thank you again for helping us build something special — let’s see how close we can get to that 1,000 mark by next Friday! 💙⚽🏆

🔑 Key Takeaways - Athlete Sheet

🏁 Final Thought

Every question we ask shapes belief. Every word we choose builds or breaks momentum. If we want our athletes to thrive, let’s give them the language to grow.

Pause. Reflect. Ask better questions. That’s how potential becomes performance.

Ben & Billinda

FYA - Fueling Youth Athletes
🎙️ Home of The Game Changer Podcast

📺️Youtube: @TheGameChangerYouthPerformance
📘 Join our FYA Facebook Community
📸 Instagram: @fya_fueling_youth_athletes