🔥 Friday Fuel - October 17

A few weeks ago, we spoke about purpose — that inner “why” that drives young athletes.
But before purpose can take hold, there’s something deeper that shapes everything else: identity.

Because how our children and athletes see themselves — what they believe about who they are — drives how they act, how they recover from setbacks, and how they perform when it matters most.

Well, Ben Stiller, in this day and age many of our young athletes and students don’t know either - they spend more time in the trap of comparing themselves to others, and copying the traits of those they watch, than diving in to who they are, and who they want to be, themselves as individuals.

So let’s take a look at what they can do about it and why they might need to…

🔍 What Is Identity?

Identity is the collection of values, experiences, beliefs, relationships, and cultural ties that make up your sense of self.

Roles — like being an athlete, a student, a teacher, a tradie, or a parent — are part of your identity, but they’re not the whole story.

For young athletes, this is especially important.
If their whole identity is built around sport, what happens when they’re injured, dropped from a team, or simply grow out of the game?

 That’s why helping them build a bigger story — one that includes their values, friendships, culture, and character — is so powerful.

It means that even when life moves the goalposts, they still know who they are.

Because identity isn’t just what you do.
It’s who you are when the doing stops.

👀 Why Identity Matters

When a young athlete says, “I’m a footballer,” or “I’m a swimmer,” they’re not just describing what they do — they’re describing who they are.
And that’s powerful… but also risky.

Research calls this athletic identity — the degree to which a person identifies with being an athlete.
When it’s healthy, it builds motivation, discipline, and belonging.
When it’s too narrow, it can make a child feel lost when injury, selection, or performance doesn’t go their way.

One study on adolescent athletes found that those with strong, balanced identities were more coachable, more confident, and better at goal-setting — but those who saw themselves only as athletes were more likely to struggle when they hit a wall.

Identity gives us something to belong to — but also something to stand on.

And it’s the first step to playing free and being courageous. Click the post below from our friend Dr. Craig Harrison, to see how identity fits within this process.

💪 Identity Helps Us Through Tough Times

Every athlete faces tough moments: a missed team, a long rehab, a season where nothing clicks.

Those who see themselves as more than just their sport can bounce back faster.
Because they know: “I’m still me.”

That’s why when professional athletes retire, the biggest struggle isn’t usually physical — it’s identity loss.

We have a podcast coming out with former All White and Wellington Phoenix player Ben Sigmund soon. Ben was incredibly open about completely losing himself as a person a couple of times in his life - they were clearly his lowest points both personally and professionally.

Taking time to reflect on who he was and who he wanted to be (working on identity) was his way out - consequently it made him change jobs, choices he was making, and ultimately created more success and happiness in his life.

A strong identity — built on values like hard work, humility, and growth — helps kids (and adults - even ones as successful as Ben) weather storms.
They can say:

When sport is taken away (through injury or transition), their sense of self doesn’t crumble — it just shifts.

⚡ Identity and Performance

Identity isn’t just emotional — it’s performance fuel.

When an athlete believes they are someone who shows up, trains hard, and competes with integrity, that belief drives consistent action.
Identity acts like a compass — when motivation dips, it brings them back to who they want to be.

That’s why many of the world’s best talk more about who they are than what they do.

All Black legend Richie McCaw said his turning point was when he stopped chasing trophies and started focusing on being “a better version of himself every day.”

Identity creates clarity under pressure.
It keeps performance from defining the person — and instead lets the person define the performance.

It’s what carried Cam Roigard through each level of rugby until he reached the ultimate point - starting halfback and game changer for the All Blacks. When we spoke with him on our live call this week, it was incredibly clear that he has a strong identity for himself that revolves around being humble in all aspects of life, incredibly hard working and disciplined. So when he had huge setbacks like not being selected as a youngster or getting major injuries, he lent on who he was as a person to get him to where he wanted to be.

🎙️ Identity Podcast Episode

Erik Panzer from Panzer Performance understands Identity. Having worked on his own changing identity at different times in his footballing career he understands it personally, but also professionally as he works with athletes from a range of fields to help them develop their own. Its affect on performance is readily apparent to Erik who has seen it be the first part of personal transformation.

In our new series of mini podcasts based around performance, we had a great talk with Erik recently - the subject? Well, Identity of course!

In this podcast we discuss:

• why its important to develop an identity

• how it affects performance

• how it helps mental strength and resilience

• practical steps to develop an authentic identity

• questions to ask your athlete

• why self worth is important

• the power of stories and family history

• how to frame negative moments

• On field and off field personas

• What to do at different ages

• How it helps competitiveness

• How it helps global health, not just in the sports arena

• The power of connection and understanding identity for coaches and family

  Find Erik and work with him at www.panzerperformance.nz 

  🎧️ Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/show/1HmGPx607JUXrqdOLLICMz 

  or watch below.

🧭 What Parents Can Do

Here’s how we can help our kids build a strong, balanced identity:

✅ Model it.
Show them that you’re not just a parent or coach — you’re also a learner, a friend, a person with passions and flaws, with clear values.

✅ Share stories from your family history.
Good or bad events and experience from family can highlight amazing traits and attributes that are part of your families identity, and thus, your child’s.

✅ Celebrate effort and values over results.
When you see them showing the traits that they say they want to have, let them know - traits like courage, resilience, humility, and kindness.

✅ Encourage multiple interests.
Let them play different sports, instruments, or hobbies — it widens their sense of self.

✅ Have identity conversations.
Try this prompt at dinner: “If you couldn’t play your sport for a year, what would still make you, you?”

If you see them acting in way that doesn’t fit with the identity they say they want to have simply ask: “Is that the person you want to be?” And leave it there so they can reflect on it in their own time.

💧 FYA Bottle — The Latest Update

It’s an exciting week behind the scenes here at FYA — our branding is being finalised as we speak!
After months of testing bottles, refining concepts, and getting feedback from parents, coaches, and athletes, our designer is now preparing the final brand drafts — including the finished logo, colour palette, and bottle visuals.

We’ve worked hard to make sure FYA feels like what it stands for:
Fueling Youth Athletes.
Inspire. Empower. Energise.

If everything goes to plan, we’ll be sharing the first images next week, followed by a limited pre-sale shortly after.
We honestly can’t wait to show you what’s coming — it’s the kind of product we wish had existed when we were young athletes ourselves (and the kind of bottle parents will love because it actually lasts and holds two fuels in one place).

Big thanks to everyone who’s sent feedback, ideas, and encouragement along the way — it’s helped us shape something we’re genuinely proud of.

Stay tuned…

🏉 Game Changer Live — Cam Roigard Q&A

What an incredible conversation with Cam Roigard — humble, grounded, and full of powerful insights for young athletes, parents, and coaches - his identity really shines through. 🙌

In this replay, Cam opens up about:
🔥 High performance habits
💪 Dealing with injuries & setbacks
🧠 Building mental toughness
🏉 Dictating a game from halfback
🏋️‍♂️ Putting on size and strength, after being tiny in the 1st XV
🚀 Late development & being overlooked as a teen
🎯 Skill development and decision making
…and so much more.

Whether you’re a young athlete chasing your dreams or a parent or coach guiding the journey, this conversation is packed with real lessons from one of New Zealand’s most exciting players.

👇 Watch the full replay now and share it with your team or family!

• 🎧️ Listen here on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1HmGPx607JUXrqdOLLICMz 

   

🎥 The Next Live Call

We’re working hard behind the scenes to bring you details of our next live fan Q&A and the awesome news is that agents and players are keen.

We’ve made positive progress on getting Wallace Sititi to agree once the All Blacks are back from their Northern Tour in December, and hope to announce another All White in the very near future.
We’re coordinating with managers and agents to find dates that fit around training and game schedules for several other professional athletes so watch this space as announcements will be coming soon 👀

🌱 Final Thoughts

As parents, we want our children to achieve — but achievement without identity is fragile.
The medals fade. The stats disappear.
But identity — who they are becoming — stays.

When we help them build that strong foundation, they’ll handle the highs and lows of sport — and of life — with the same calm strength.

Because no matter the score, they’ll know exactly who they are.

Ben and Billinda

FYA - Fueling Youth Athletes
🎙️ Home of The Game Changer Podcast

📺️Youtube: @TheGameChangerYouthPerformance
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